Creating a New Normal

This is the spring when you and your husband planned to take your two daughters and your mother on two different helicopter tours. Both were scheduled to take in the sights of some of the most popular spots in Hawaii. Instead, you are at home looking and hoping for the next time when you can reschedule not only those helicopter tours, but also the entire trip. Your family has enjoyed family sightseeing adventures before, and you know that sometime in the future you will again, but in addition to the cancellations caused by the pandemic, you are also know dealing with rehabilitation steps for your mother after a major health event nearly three months ago.

Changing Plans and Staying Healthy

You wonder how your friends are you doing? Are they still cooking, or do they order more carry out?  Are they still watching Youtube videos to learn how to do something, or do they wing it and only look for help in case something goes wrong? Did your friends move their offices to the backyard when it was not raining?

In the last couple of weeks, many people have ordered more carry out, helped a family member fix hot and cold pressure valve in the shower, chauffered spouses large retail to home improvement stores, and sat outside on the glider, weather permitting. You, however, have not really had time to keep up with friends. Just one week into the home isolation stage of this quarantine your mother had a stroke. Fortunately, she had recently moved in with you so she would not be stranded at her own home which is clear across the state.
All of your time goes to helping manage your mom’s care. She continues her outpatient therapies at one of the best hospitals in the city, and on the days she has both physical therapy and occupational therapy back-to-back, she takes a nap when you return home. During those moments you have a some time to yourself, but usually find that upkeep around the house needs your priority.

After one day of two rounds of therapy, and after Mom rested for a time, it occurred to me that she never misses the 5:30 pm news with David Muir.  Without a clock in sight or prompting, she knows it is time for the news.  Does she really enjoy watching the news, or does the nice looking young man wearing a tie make it easier to watch?

You also help her practice and apply other therapy strategies at home: picking out clothes and getting dressed in the morning, making the bed, setting the table for a meal, loading the dirty dishes in the dishwasher, putting away the clean dishes in the cupboard, opening her mail.  Establishing routines helps her complete these tasks.  Cueing words or phrases helps her complete her thoughts.  Together you read the titles of articles in magazines and the headlines in the Sunday paper.  On rainy days you play cards pairing numbers and naming the pair.  During one of those games, you sneezed.  Mom responded, “Bless you,” giving an indication that her speech skills are buried somewhere just waiting to be put back into action.

While your brother from out of state visited, the three of you went back to visit her home. It was not the kind of Hawaii helicopter tours you had planned for this week, but when the afternoon rain stopped, Mom walked through her yard observing all of the flowers in bloom.  The smell of rain and lilacs in bloom in your own backyard provides a different deeper kind of cleansing breath. You know for a fact that your Mom enjoyed this kind of back at her own home therapy.

You have always traveled and have been part of the fact that in 2015, there were 24,142,000 general aviation flight hours logged, and at any given time, there are approximately 5,000 aircraft in the sky. Today, however, there are no airplane or helicopter tours in Oahu, only a much quieter life.

Today, after you and your mom returned home from another round of her therapy sessions, you opened the patio door to let in the breeze and invited your Mom to sit outside on the glider for a while before dinner. She shook her head no, turned around, and walked downstairs. It was 5:23 pm. Time for the news.

On another day you will return to bigger adventures, but not now.